'Twas the 2nd Thursday of Spring, taking a walk - me and my firstborn
"Look Dad, a little wiggly snake!" No Baby, that's just a cute earthworm
"Eeeeeew!* See how it crawls, c'mon Daddy, I won't say that's cute"
"You know what? You're right, Sweetie" I replied and for a minute went mute
Wait, what...Did I just say "cute"? Wow! What happened to you, Dayo?
Hmmmn Well, sit back, relax while I give you a low down of what transpired
Let's travel through time to the 80's, a young lad growing fast and shameless
Boys my age were wild, adventurous and innocent - pretty much how God made us
In our minds, life was all about fun and laughter; I'm talking about mad fun
And it Really didn't matter if you were the first or you were the last son
Didn't have the time for girls, we were better off climbing trees
Though your mom told you not to, knowing fully well you're gonna get beat
Yeah whatever! Six strokes of the hibiscus stem on your butt didn't matter
Cry now! Go back to playing hard, and surely get whooped thereafter
Every animal was a stoning target, no discrimination, except my dog Frisky
Agama lizards got hit most, I think them scaly things just loved to mess with me
Body count after body count, they got me perfecting my "pitching" skills
If I had taken it more serious, I could have had a career on the baseball fields
Then one day, Dad decided to get the creepiest domestic feline you've ever seen
Didn't give a rat's ass about us, walked around proud like she was the queen
We hated it for one simple reason - Dad didn't tell us before he got her
As far as we were concerned, it was an illegal alien - a goddamn squatter
In order to forcefully revoke its residency, we hatched an airtight plan
Hmmmn...Let's just say this Alice never returned from the wonderland
I dare to say if PETA was in Lagos back then, we'll prob'ly be in jail
I cringe these days to think about how my brothers and I proudly assailed
These poor animals that were only trying to find their daily bread
But which barely escaped our tyranny, ended up wounded or even sometimes dead
It's funny how conscious I am now, about the rights of most animals
Though them geese really do piss me off, I find many nice and cool in general
I now enjoy watching squirrels scurry up trees, calmly wait for geese to trot by
Really admire rabbits, but still from time to time really do love to swat flies
It was fun back then but now I promise I'll ever hurt any animal, ever again
"Oh No, Dad!" What? "You stepped on two of them, see, now they're in pain"
DAAAAAAMN!!!"
The Midwestern Worm
Experiences with animals while growing up in South Western Nigeria.
